Potty Training Tips

 If your child can put on a pair of sox, he's ready to start potty training. And remember it is a process. Changes like moving , a new baby, a new school, a death in the family can set a child back, so be mindful of that and never force.

Some tips:

1. Stay calm, follow through, keep it fun and positive. Use Cheerios to aim at, read books together, decorate the toilet, pick out some fun underwear, anything positive which your toddler can associate with the new experience.

2. Let your child try going without a diaper for short periods of time. It's good to air out for a bit anyway. Maybe right after  bath time, give 10 minute of airy diaper-free time. (Great for preventing diaper rash or helping to heal one up) If they have an accident don't get upset, just say, "better luck next time, and clean it up together.

3. Let your child go into the bathroom with you. Role modeling is powerful stuff.

4. Give your child choices, "Do you want to use the big toilet or the potty seat?" This helps a child to feel more in control.

5. Be aware of your child's urges.

6. If your child is sleeping through the night and waking up with a dry diaper, can partially dress/undress himself, can tell you when they have gone, these are all indicators that your child is ready to begin.

7. A cute book to get is "Everybody Poops"

Remember, they will not be potty training at eighteen years old!  I promise!

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!

Bon :)

Double Win-Win

The choice to sit on the jetty by the wonderful sea.

Papa gives the boys positive choices.

A child just wants to have a choice,

Much like we parents do.

A child wants to use his or her voice.

Isn’t that what we want too?

There are many occasions when young parents may fall into a power struggle  in the course of day-to-day life with a child. Everything from getting dressed to picking up their toys to getting into a car seat can be fraught with resistance on the part of a young child, especially when they begin to assert their independence.

While a parent has the ultimate say and has to keep safety and practicality in mind, there are ways you can give your child some say in the matter of how and when things happen by offering win-win choices. Allowing a child to earn a chance to make his or her own choice builds trust between the parent and the child and encourages a child to grow his confidence.

Here are some tips and real life examples to help you set your child up for success by giving your child the chance to choose without compromising your role as a parent and the goal at hand.

Potty Training: Every parent stresses over potty training, but I always say, “Don’t worry, the child will not be in a diaper by the time he or she is eighteen, I promise!” If you see your young child has to go, try not to confuse the child by bombarding him or her with too many options. Remain calm and direct and take action. Your child is depending on you to lead the way. At the same time a little choice can ease the power struggle you may encounter.

Lose-Lose Question: 


Do you have to/ want to go the bathroom? 


Don’t ask the question you already know the answer to, you could end up with a response that does not match the need.

Win–Win Question with Choice:

1. Do you want daddy to take you to the bathroom? or
2. Do you want mommy to take you to the bathroom?

Both answers get the child to the bathroom and yet allow the child a choice. If the child does not chose, make the choice for him or her and then take action in a calm and reassuring way. Do not go back and forth repeating the same question. Next time, repeat the same line of questioning and watch your child choose. Most children will want to chose before you make the choice for them.

Note * Never get angry at a child for having an accident. When a child is transitioning from diaper to the potty, and is wearing regular underpants, an accident may happen once or twice, but if you fall back on a diaper you will only prolong the transition out of diapers.  Send a clear message that you are there to help the child use the bathroom.

Dinnertime: Before it is time for dinner give your child a heads up so they can prepare. Making transitions is one of the hardest things to do for a young child.

Lose-Lose Question:

1.      Do you want to eat dinner? The child may respond with  “not now”, “I’m not hungry”, or “I don’t want to”; don’t open the door for those responses.

 Win-Win Question with Choice

1. Would you like the superman fork tonight? or
2. Would you like the big kid fork tonight?

Both answers gives the child the message that it is time to eat his or her dinner at the table, but also allows a choice. Again the child is empowered and trust and respect will build.

*Note:  Remember to ask the question so that the choice is something which will not jeopardize the goal. Offering a choice of which napkin or which cup still gets the message across that it is time for dinner.

Time for Bed: Sticking to the same ritual every night provides a measure of security for your child. Bath-time and story-time provide an easier transition to bedtime for a child, allowing for activity that will move the child towards winding down for sleep in a positive and comforting way.

Lose-Lose Question:

1. Are you tired?
2. Do you want to go to bed?

Again you are opening the door for the answer to be a resounding “No!”

Win-Win Question with Choice:

1.      Do you want to wear the elephant print pajamas? or

2.      Do you want to wear the pajamas with the stars on them?

The question provides a choice and also sets the clear message that it is time for bed.

*Note: Always keep the experience positive and light. Never use a child’s room as the place for punishment or time outs.

You can apply the Double Win-Win technique to just about any situation.  After all, children just want to have a little say in their lives just like we do as adults.

Good Luck! Good Parenting!!

Bon J