|Mother and son building the first foundations of trust.|
The hug represents a mother's affection for her child and her adoration, but it also epitomizes what it is to literally feel protected and welcomed into the fold of another human being's world even if it is just for a few seconds. The special exchange known as the "hug" between a parent and child carries with it untold layers of depth and strength for a good relationship.
The message given to a child, each time a hug happens conveys that you love them, they can trust you, and you will be there to comfort, listen, and understand to the best of your infinite abilities when a child needs it.
When we hug, we have to get close, we have to let our guard down, we have to open up to the other person.
Children want to be heard just like adults do and children get it, they're pretty smart and amazing people. The hug is like a breath or a pause allowing a child to share thoughts, ask questions, and express feelings if they want to, all because they trust and love and respect you, all because you have demonstrated the same values toward your child through your actions.
But sometimes it can be tough to express love in this way if we did not experience the same gestures of acceptance when we were children, still it does not have to be the reason to prevent your child from learning the positive message a hug carries -- although more challenging, parents can break past learned behaviors and start their own positive traditions if they begin to think of the benefits a hug can bring.
It won't be easy at first, but you may ask yourself: What do I want to teach my child and how am I going to best accomplish that, regardless of my past?
When you take time to hug each eachother, you are showing your child that you not only love him and care for her, you will also demonstrate in a very concrete way that you trust your child and when you show trust, a child will learn trust.
The simple and humble hug can teach a child that her parents are her first havens of trust and security. And if a child feels safe and secure, you will be the first one he or she will come to when they need answers and support.
Make no mistake Moms and Dads, This does not mean you will always agree with your son or daughter, quite the contrary even, but when that happens, a hug is a sure way to show you will always be there, that you respect the other's opinion and that you still love them, no matter what.
What a boring place it would be if we all agreed all the time!
When a child knows it is safe to be himself and voice his feelings and opinions the path to happiness and purpose in the long run will be less difficult to attain.
Whether we realize it or not, the hug in and of itself is one of the most powerful tools in a mom's (or dad's) arsenal. Use it or lose it! Actions speak louder than words.
Happy Mother's Day!
Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!